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Home Cycling

Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow

September 5, 2025
in Cycling
Reading Time: 8 mins read
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Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow


For over 500 years, the world’s biggest cyclists have bent the Grand Excursions to their will. Now that has develop into the job of the protesters, and thus far the Vuelta a España has confirmed to be fairly malleable:

Not solely are the organizers asking groups to depart:

The organizers of the Vuelta a España biking race in Spain requested the Israeli biking group to withdraw from the competitors amid disruptive anti-Israel, pro-Palestinian protests, the group’s proprietor, philanthropist Sylvan Adams, tells Channel 12 information.

“They known as us and requested us to withdraw from the competitors,” Adams says. “We’re not leaving. I’m pleased with our Israeli title.”

However they’re asking the spectators to depart too:

Apparently this mighty mountain has stood there for eons, however a bunch of drunken Spaniards will by some means destroy it in a single day:

Nevertheless, stage 20’s spectator ban follows calls from environmental activists from the Ecologists in Motion group to keep away from the climb, recognized formally as Alto de Guarramillas, altogether.

The group believes that the stage 20 end, together with the crowds, infrastructure, and visitors, will harm the delicate ecosystem of the mountain.

It’s 2025, there are extra indignant folks on the market than at any level in human historical past, and because of this if you happen to’re engaged in any kind of extremely seen industrial enterprise there’s by no means been extra stress on you to appease as lots of them as attainable. However organizers ought to be cautious right here lest they destroy the delicate ecosystem of anyone who nonetheless offers a shit about skilled biking. Eliminate every little thing within the Vuelta that everyone objects to and by the point it will get to Madrid it received’t be a motorcycle race in any respect, it’ll be like three folks doing a little type of interpretive dance.

Then once more, perhaps I’m being too cynical. Maybe the true message right here is that it’s by no means been extra attainable to impact change, and I too ought to get up for what I imagine in and try to make a distinction. That’s why I’ll be touring to Spain and organizing a “No Carbon, No Discs, No Electronics” protest on the Vuelta, and if I can get sufficient folks to hitch me I believe we’ll have the complete peloton using lugged metal bikes with downtube shifters by Tuesday.

And if we’re going to protest groups, let’s not overlook Group Bahrain Victorious:

And UAE Group Emirates XRG:

And probably the most immoral group of all of them, Alpecin–Deceuninck, purveyors of bogus caffeinated males’s shampoo:

It’s mainly simply snake oil on your balding head, and all cyclists know that solely Johann Museeuw possesses the true secret to hair regrowth:

Sure, that Museeuw was a mad scientist, particularly when it got here to his experiments with wasps and internal tubes:

Museeuw: “A wasps’ nest, can you’re employed one out? I’m leaving on Wednesday for a coaching camp. I’ve no sight of the wasp. I’ve no management till 28/7.”Landuyt: “Now I might take 80-100 wasps and initially of the coaching camp a minimal of 40 and most of 60 wasps. Then utterly clear from 19/7. It needs to be within the internal tube. Take a look at with washer.”

The one factor much less delicate than his ham-handed makes an attempt at talking in code have been his hair plugs.

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