Tank Davis to Treat Jake Paul Like a Human ATM

Jake Paul (12-1, 7 KOs) rocked as much as New York like a Poundland Rocky, chin out, chest puffed, considering he’s Mayweather with a TikTok account. Reverse him, Gervonta “Tank” Davis (30-0-1, 28 KOs) regarded like a person who simply discovered a profitable lottery ticket in his pocket. November 14 at Miami’s Kaseya Middle, Netflix streams this to 300 million screens. And who’s paying? Jake Paul — together with his chin.

Jake’s followers? The standard suspects. Hoodie up, ring gentle on, Monster can in hand. Keyboard warriors screaming “Jake’s constructed totally different, bro!” as they add one other “response” video. The identical lads who couldn’t inform a jab from a jam doughnut

Jake Paul’s Script vs Tank’s Smirk

Jake’s best hits have been all there. “My attain, my dimension, his protection has holes.” Holes? The one gap would be the crater left when Tank lands. Then got here the gem: “Belts acquire mud. What I’ve carried out is unprecedented.” Mate, unprecedented at what? Promoting merch to youngsters who suppose boxing is Fortnite with gloves?

Tank didn’t even attempt. “Whoop-de-doo,” he deadpanned when advised Jake reckons he’ll outbox him. Then, “He’ll final a pair rounds, then it will get sizzling, and you understand how that ends.” Translation: Tank’s not sweating — he’s clocking in for a shift, accumulating a bonus, and leaving Jake face-down like a membership bouncer tossing out a drunk.

Netflix Sells the Circus, Tank Banks the Money

Nakisa Bidarian puffed it up like a dodgy automotive salesman: “There will probably be a victor.” No kidding, Sherlock. The victor’s Tank, the loser’s Jake’s jawline, and the one factor getting robbed is Netflix’s servers when Jake’s fanboys flood the feedback yelling “Rigged!”

Let’s be blunt. Netflix doesn’t care about “boxing.” They care about hashtags, thumbnails, and watching Jake’s fan military meltdown on-line. Tank stated it himself: “Each time I struggle, it’s fireworks.” Yeah, fireworks for his accountant. For Jake, it’s a bonfire, and he’s the wooden.

Right here’s the rundown of the official guidelines for Jake Paul vs Gervonta Davis on November 14:

Weight restrict: Most 195 kilos (largest Tank will ever formally field below).

Rounds: 10 rounds, every three minutes.

Gloves: 12-ounce gloves

Outcome: There will probably be an official winner. Each fighters and the fee agreed — not only a play-around exhibition.

Judges: Three skilled, commission-approved judges ringside, scoring it like a legit struggle.

Drug testing: Each enrolled in USADA’s highest-level testing. No shortcuts, no “celeb guidelines.”

So on paper, this isn’t simply shadowboxing for Netflix cameras — it’s structured to have a decisive consequence, belts or not.

My Take

Jake Paul’s fanbase — the “subscribe now, merch hyperlink in bio” crew, the “smash that like button” military — really imagine that is Rocky IV. They’ll be on Reddit typing “Jake’s larger, bro, Tank’s too small.” They stated the identical about KSI, and we noticed how that circus ended.

Right here’s the blunt reality: that is straightforward cash for Tank. Jake’s chin is a scratchcard and Tank’s simply itching to money it. Paul’s there for content material, Tank’s there for commas. The purists will moan, the YouTube lot will spam clown emojis, and Tank Davis will go away Miami with heavier pockets and lighter knuckles.

Jake’s legacy? One other meme. Tank’s legacy? Paid.