Monday is Presidents (Presidents’? … President’s? … Presidence? …) Day. Have you learnt what meaning? Nicely, for one factor, it means there’s by no means been a greater time to finance or lease that new Hyundai you’ve had your eye on:
For an additional, it means the faculties shall be closed all week for Midwinter Recess (Recess’? … Reese’s? … Mmmm, Reese’s …), which suggests this weblog shall be closed, too:
Sure, that’s proper, the crew right here at Tan Tenovo Industries shall be off responsibility for everything of the Priority Day Week Extravaganza
, and can return on Monday, February twenty third, with common updates.
So please word the date in your Palm Pilot:
Certain, it appears quaint now, however the Palm Pilot was a remarkably profitable gadget within the pre-smartphone period, particularly when you think about its identify looks as if a euphemism for a power masturbator.
Within the meantime, chances are you’ll be questioning who gained the Nice Gravel Lube Contest:
[The AI’s take on “a generic graphic for a contest of some kind.”]
And the reply is that you just’re gonna carry on questioning, except you gained, by which case you’ll obtain your prize within the mail within the coming days.
Oh, certain, I might make an enormous fuss over the winners, however this contest was concerning the Spirit of Gravel, and in the event you actually wish to perceive what it’s all about then it’s essential to study a very powerful lesson of all:
Humility.
Within the meantime, whereas I could also be off subsequent week, relaxation assured I’m not effing off to cycle world wide for 4 years:
As somebody with a deep and abiding love for biking I ought to discover tales like this compelling and provoking–or on the very least I shouldn’t discover them irritating. And but I do:
In April 2022, Andreas Graf set off on his bike from his residence in Norway. His dream was to cycle to India. Per week later, having reached Sweden, it was already turning into extra of a nightmare. “It was pouring with rain and I used to be mendacity in my tent in my half-wet sleeping bag and I used to be like, I might be in my very cosy Oslo house,” he says. “I had this good life, a profession, a companion, and I had left every part behind.”
Why is that? Having solved the entire pesky “Spirit of Gravel” conundrum, I have to now flip and confront this vexing existential query. I imply what’s the matter with me? Right here’s somebody who adopted his dream in a approach that damage completely no person (other than himself sometimes), and right here I’m feeling not merely detached however actively aggravated.
Oh, certain, you in all probability suppose the reply: “You’re jealous!” However that’s too straightforward. Actually on the floor this is smart, since right here’s someone seemingly capable of sashay across the globe for years on finish whereas the remainder of us should keep residence and have a tendency to our many onerous duties. Nevertheless, in my case this idea doesn’t actually maintain sealant, for the easy purpose that my life is what I imagine the British confer with as a “doddle.” I imply I’m not precisely toiling for battle diamonds right here. At worst, typically I can’t journey for a day or two as a result of I’m too “busy” or the climate’s too awful. In the meantime this man’s crashing his bike within the Andes and getting wrist surgical procedure:
He had an accident in Colombia and broke his wrist. “I had cycled the size of the Andes, nearly 10,000km, and coming down the final mountain I crashed. I got here across the nook and there was a pothole and a little bit of an oil spill. I simply flew over the handlebars.” He cycled to the closest hospital. “I had cut up my radius lengthwise into three totally different elements. I had surgical procedure and ended up with a titanium plate and eight screws in my hand.” He was sanguine concerning the incident. “I used to be in a really calm frame of mind and I used to be like: ‘Shit occurs. It’s a part of the journey.’”
No thanks. I’ll take my ten thousandth journey up Route 9W over that any day. (Although admittedly that doesn’t at all times go so properly, both.)
So I have to look deeper. May the explanation for my irritation be that the rider is from Norway?
Opting out of the rat race and happening an enormous journey will not be uncommon in Norway, he says. “I do know fairly a couple of individuals right here who took the youngsters out of faculty after they had been younger and went crusing for a yr.” He thinks the pandemic unleashed numerous latent wanderlust: “Popping out of Covid, individuals had an pleasure for going out into the world.”
That is one other tempting idea, nevertheless it’s additionally far too handy. Hey, look, no nation’s good. We’re pushy, Russia’s handsy, China is each pushy and handsy, and Canada pretends to be all well mannered while being deeply judgmental and exuding an overbearing smugness. So certain, Norway could also be a spot the place individuals can determine to go crusing for a yr as a result of they reside in a rich petrostate that also permits whaling but everyone else thinks is “inexperienced” as a result of they’re in Scandinavia they usually drive electrical automobiles, however to say I resent Norway or Norwegians is patently unfair, and I reject any and all accusations of anti-Norwegianism. Actually, by means of therapeutic the unlucky rift between our two nice cultures, right here is an AI-generated picture of Paul Revere shaking palms with a Viking:
So might or not it’s that due to my contrarian nature I’m inherently skeptical when individuals expertise profound non secular revelations while taking prolonged holidays?
The second was a turning level. “I felt actually, actually at peace with myself. You’ll be able to sit within the outback for a complete day misplaced in your personal ideas. And I feel most individuals would expertise this as a type of purgatory. For me, it was simply so blissful. And I didn’t know I had it in me, spiritually talking, to get there.” The journey was altering him. “Change is a continuing companion on the street, proper? You don’t even realise it’s there, nevertheless it’s altering you dramatically in some way.” Now, he says, his priorities have shifted. “I was somebody who was very career-focused, and I feel that a part of me has disappeared.”
I suppose there might be one thing to that. Why is it that individuals should go on these lengthy, unique journeys simply to really feel at peace with themselves, and why do we now have to maintain studying about them? Isn’t this like an article about somebody who went out and acquired a $20,000 bicycle so they may uncover the profound pleasure of biking? What about discovering the sweetness in your personal yard? What concerning the profound pleasure of driving an previous bike you mounted up, and the revelation that may include turning down the street or path you’ve ridden previous a thousand occasions and by no means explored, and all that different seemingly mundane stuff? Isn’t each day an journey? Isn’t the so-called “rat race” this man supposedly escaped not solely a path to enlightenment, however the one which’s most accessible to us? Ever hear this one?
Earlier than enlightenment, chop wooden, carry water. After enlightenment, chop wooden, carry water.
You don’t have to journey to the Australian outback to get “misplaced in your personal ideas.” You are able to do that simply as simply on the bathroom.
This isn’t to say I’ve an issue with touring to the Australian outback or another distant location and dropping your self in your ideas. Nevertheless, I’d humbly ask that in the event you select to take action, please don’t return with any classes for the remainder of us–particularly if that lesson is that people ought to cease reproducing as a result of it’s sizzling in Vietnam throughout monsoon season:
The local weather disaster was additionally unavoidable. “In Vietnam within the monsoon season, it’s 45C and humidity is at 95%. And I truly don’t know the way individuals reside there. They stand up super-early within the morning, however then from midday to 5pm you see individuals mendacity on the facet of the street below a mango tree, sleeping.”
Now he dwells on the ethics of someday bringing youngsters into such a world. “In the event that they wished to take the same journey, I’m wondering if that will nonetheless be potential in 20, 30 years from now. The temperatures are already very excessive. There are numerous locations that I feel shall be uninhabitable within the subsequent few many years.”
Paradoxically, after driving world wide he appears to have missed probably the most basic lesson of all, which is that Vietnam’s local weather could be very totally different from Norway’s.
And with that, I bid you farewell…for now. I’ll see you again right here on Monday the twenty third, and I promise to not return with any classes. Actually, if something I’ll be much more thick-headed and contrarian.
Thanks to your readership, and your help.
Love,
–Tan Tenovo
