I spend loads of time on this internet presence whining about what’s taking place to bicycles: the plastic; the batteries; the relentless gravelization. However what in regards to the bicycle media? Nicely…
Imagine it or not, I’m not a technophobe. Positive, I don’t look after disc brakes and wi-fi derailleurs on my bicycles, however I exploit mobile telephones and transportable computing units and digital books and all the remainder of it, and other than social media, which is unequivocally unhealthy, I feel these things has improved our lives tremendously.
I’m not even freaked out about AI. Positive, I do know some folks suppose the computer systems will take over and make us their slaves, however I think that looking back our fears will appear quaint. For instance, if you happen to’re sufficiently old, it’s possible you’ll bear in mind when Photoshop appeared like the tip of the world. “How will we even know what’s actual!?!” However who the hell worries about Photoshop now? It’s simply one other program, like MS Paint. The very fact is we had no thought what was actual or not even earlier than Photoshop (I imply they completely faked the moon touchdown, John F. Kennedy’s assassination, and Elvis’s demise with out it, proper?), so making it a little bit simpler to take the zits off a trend mannequin didn’t actually make a lot of a distinction. And if AI means I can get a fast reply to a easy query from customer support as a substitute of ready on maintain for 20 minutes, I say carry it on.
The above however, this sounds horrendous:
A typical workflow for Stuart, because the solo editor of Velora Biking, would possibly begin with an thought chosen from the system’s recognized developments. He can then feed the idea into the system’s options pipeline, which fleshes it out with background analysis and supply validation, a course of he stated he and Bellion have fine-tuned to be in step with the specified output.
So the system identifies the developments, then writes in regards to the developments, and people articles turn into sources for extra articles about developments? Wouldn’t this end in some endlessly self-perpetuating pattern suggestions loop that has no foundation in any respect in actuality?
Oh, wait, by no means thoughts, that’s been taking place since like 1989.
In any case, this AI-powered biking website is already up and working, so I went and checked it out, and to this point it’s not a lot horrifyingly dystopian as it’s obscenely boring:
On one hand, you learn increasingly more about AI-driven psychosis and suicide, and alternatively you’ve obtained the exquisitely soporific “One of the best bike ground pumps in 2025.” Will AI’s affect on society be devastating or merely stultifying? I assume we’ll have to attend to search out out…if we are able to hold ourselves awake.
Talking of bikes and tech, wi-fi braking is now inevitable:
Positive, like AI it might sound scary, however there’s a security swap, and I can’t wait to see Fred drift off the again of the pack and glide slowly to a cease as a result of he forgot to cost his brakes. Hopefully he’s obtained a PNS jersey pocket full of additional batteries, or else he’s calling his spouse to come back get him.
I’ll confess I do like the concept of not having to take care of fluids and bleeding if I must make a change to my bicycle:
However then I bear in mind I don’t must take care of fluids and bleeding on any of my bicycles now as a result of all of them use mechanical brakes.
Whew!
However what I actually wish to know is whether or not “The Biking Week” is an actual web site, or if it’s simply AI? I’ve by no means heard of it earlier than, and right here’s all they must say about themselves:
That positive sounds faux, so I went in for a better look:
Definitely the images within the article seem like AI-generated:
It’s not unhealthy as this stuff go, and little doubt each Cervélo proprietor has an change just like the one above on a weekly foundation:
Him: “What? Keep dwelling with you? I must experience day by day, I want to take care of my health!”
Her: “Health for what? You suck!”
Since this running a blog platform additionally has an AI picture generator I figured I’d see the way it compares, so I instructed it to create one for an “overzealous biking dork getting shit from his upset spouse.” Right here is the consequence:
It actually upped the ante by together with the mother-in-law.
As for the story itself, AI generated or not, it was definitely intriguing:
The couple met in Chicago and married in 2007. At first, his health habits have been reasonable largely commuting by bike. However early indicators of imbalance appeared whereas they have been relationship.
On a go to to Katrina in Australia, he spent a major quantity simply to move his bike on the airplane.
A turning level got here throughout a biking vacation within the UK. Katrina, hoping to share in his ardour, imagined they may experience collectively to Land’s Finish.
The fact was harsher: her husband’s aggressive drive pushed him far forward, usually leaving her to experience alone.
It could appear silly to fly all the best way to Australia with a motorcycle when you possibly can simply hire one, nevertheless it’s truly fairly shrewd on Fred’s half, since after two or three extra flights he’ll have made a robust case for a customized bike with S&S couplers:
That’s the AI’s tackle “overzealous biking dork attempting to persuade his spouse he wants a customized journey bike by exhibiting her many spreadsheets and pie charts.” Hey, that is simple! Perhaps that Velora man is onto one thing. Hopefully in the future I can flip this complete weblog over to the AI so I can sit again all day and accumulate my UBI.
In the meantime, again to the story, which takes an surprising flip:
Katrina attended to assist him however felt bored and disconnected, her presence largely unnoticed.
The passion had morphed into an obsession, dictating schedules, eclipsing shared time, and eroding intimacy.
Makes an attempt to hitch in, together with shopping for a tandem bike, failed he discovered the slower tempo irritating, leaving the bike unused and symbolic of their rising divide.
Even spinning courses bolstered the sample.
Befriending one other male bicycle owner, he immersed himself additional, normalizing his obsessive conduct.
Eroding intimacy? Befriending one other male bicycle owner? I feel one thing else is happening right here.
In any case, the couple separated in 2012, and the date on this story is November twenty sixth, 2025. Additionally, that disc brake story has been kicking round for like a yr or one thing, so presumably the AI that generates “The Biking Week” nonetheless must be educated to not regurgitate tales which might be greater than per week previous:
The couple separated in 2012, although they continued dwelling collectively briefly attributable to London’s excessive value of dwelling.
As for Fred, not solely did he lastly discover ways to embrace his true self, however he finally gained the yellow jersey, so who’s laughing now?
Lastly, does Pas Regular biking clothes not have sufficient PNS for you? Nicely, now there’s TRS PNS!
Not solely does it have triple the PNS, however additionally they make working shorts:
I’m assuming all this clothes is designed by AI.
