Hey, I’m again!
Aren’t you thrilled?!?
[Oh well, looks like I’ve already failed at my resolution to freshen up my pop culture references.]
Shortly earlier than the vacation recess I obtained a press launch about an thrilling new calendar 12 months referred to as “2026.” On the time I used to be unable to share any particulars as a result of it was underneath media embargo, however now that it’s out and most of us have downloaded the firmware I’m free to share my first impressions. Thus far 2026 is lots like 2025, and it retains a lot of the acquainted options, reminiscent of day by day sunrises and sunsets*:
*[Sunset, 1/1/26. Feature not available to users on the North and South Poles.]
In accordance with the press launch these celestial occasions now include a 40% improve in lateral stiffness and vertical compliance–although in follow you’re unlikely to note, and at this level you’re in all probability higher off simply ready till 2028 to improve, since rumor has it they’ll be including a complete further day:
This can eradicate that jarring change in cadence you at present expertise once you shift from February to March.
As for the conclusion of 2025, typically you attain the tip of the 12 months with each arms reaching skyward in triumph:
Different occasions you’re defiant and simply wish to depart all of it behind you:
After which there are these years you come skidding throughout the end line, like this:
This final situation, fairly actually, was the case for me. On Friday the nineteenth I bid you all a-doo, and by Sunday the twenty first I used to be delighting in an unseasonably heat day astride the Cervino:
That morning, I’d ridden over the George Washington Bridge and onto route 9W, which is the New York Metropolis metropolitan space’s Fredly Superhighway. With the bike working easily, the open street forward, and the vacations laid out earlier than me like a luxurious fortnight-long buffet, I might describe my frame of mind at this second as “blissed out.” Heading north, I had a option to make: maintain going straight and finally make my approach again residence by way of the Tappan Zee Mario Cuomo Bridge, or else flip onto the so-called “River Highway.” The previous selection entailed an extended however flatter trip, whereas the latter can be extra bodily difficult but get me residence a bit earlier. After some deliberation I opted for extra hills and extra household time, and adjusted course accordingly.
These of you acquainted with River Highway after all know the fabled “Ranger Station climb,” the place the CRCA’s best Freds do infinite hill repeats like Lycra-clad Sisyphuses. (At the least once they’re not Zwifting.) Getting into River Highway from its northern terminus, I instantly started descending this stretch, as I’ve lots of of occasions earlier than. Now, I’m not a timid descender, however I’m not a “balls-out” descender, both. If something, I wish to assume I strategy the act of driving a bicycle downhill fairly sensibly, exercising due warning and protecting my balls nestled safely in my chamois the place they belong. Nonetheless, the River Highway climb is fairly steep, and one can attain Fred Woo-Hoo Velocity right here with out a lot bother:
In any occasion, I negotiated the descent responsibly and with out incident. Nonetheless, on the backside of the hill, the place the street ranges out and also you enter the site visitors circle, my trusty (not less than up till now) Cervino disappeared from beneath me–not within the sense that bike reviewers imply once they wax pretentious in regards to the magical trip qualities of carbon fiber, however within the “Holy crap, the place the hell did the bike go?!?” sense. All of that is to say that at one second I used to be in full management of my bicycle and myself, and on the subsequent I used to be executing type of a barrel roll throughout which period slowed and I used to be capable of ponder the irony of this state of affairs as I flew via the air.
Simply earlier than shedding management I’d been conscious of a few stopped riders standing close by, and my essential feeling was embarrassment as I hit the bottom on my again, the bike now on prime of me and nonetheless hooked up to my toes. I then slid alongside the street like butter on a scorching skillet till I hit the retaining wall alongside of it. Right here’s the underside of the hill, and the wall that introduced me to a halt is the one on the left:
Now I had not been turning, or braking, or fishing round in my pocket, or distracted in any approach within the moments earlier than I crashed. I used to be touring straight, eyes ahead, with each arms on the bars. Nonetheless, River Highway runs alongside the bottom of the New Jersey Palisades, which is the rock face you see right here:
Because of this, there’s usually a number of particles within the street from the not-infrequent rockslides that happen. Actually, solely per week or two earlier than my crash, I’d witnessed a bit mini rockslide proper in entrance of me whereas descending this very stretch, which I managed to keep away from. “Whoah, that might have been dangerous,” I’d thought to myself stupidly. So I’m fairly positive that what occurred is I hit a really small rock–or a chunk of “gravel” if you’ll–and since I used to be on a primitive street bicycle with 25mm tires and never a devoted gravel bike I misplaced management and down I went. Actually right here’s a few of that particles, which I used to be capable of {photograph} as soon as I recovered my cellphone:
That’s actually sufficient to take you down should you’re on a classic street bike with slender bars and driving the undersized, over-inflated tires of yesteryear, which I most actually was.
Within the seconds after a crash, assuming you’re lucky sufficient to be alive and aware, you run type of a system examine to evaluate the injury to your individual, and to my reduction I discovered I used to be capable of sit up and that I used to be kind of intact. Moreover, as I discussed, I used to be additionally capable of get well my cellphone, which had ejected itself from my jacket pocket however had thankfully not traveled very far–and was additionally intact. Nonetheless, as I went to make use of it, glops of blood appeared on the display, and I spotted I used to be bleeding from someplace in regards to the face or head.
As I blotted myself with my fleece hat and fumbled with the selfie digicam to examine the wound a park police officer appeared and knowledgeable me he was calling an ambulance. He was quickly joined by one other officer, they usually each waited with me. I additionally texted my spouse and did the previous “Don’t fear, every part’s completely advantageous, however I had a bit crash and may you come decide me up?” routine. To my reduction I discovered I used to be capable of rise up and stroll round a bit. It was a stunning Sunday and there have been a number of riders out, lots of whom stopped to supply help or their well-wishings. They have been all very good, too, aside from one man who was a bit bizarre and loitered on the periphery for awhile and made me consider that child within the pilot goggles from “A Christmas Story” who’s approach into the Tin Man:
Ultimately the ambulance arrived, and after wanting me over the paramedics agreed to depart me on the situation that I’m going someplace to deal with the gash simply above my proper eyebrow. Then my spouse arrived in THE CAR THAT WE OWN and took me residence. I bought cleaned up and went to an pressing care the place they knowledgeable me that the reduce was so deep I’d must go to an ER and have a plastic surgeon shut it up or else I’d must undergo life with a horrible pirate scar that will trigger folks to run screaming and provides youngsters nightmares. So I headed to a close-by ER, the place the physician instructed me this was fully unfaithful and that the pressing care at all times pulls this crap. She then closed the reduce up with ten neat little stiches and I went residence and had dinner.
However sufficient about me. What you actually wish to know is…
How’s the bike?!?
Properly, like me it was fairly banged up, but in addition like me thankfully nothing was irreparable:
I’m pretty sure the tubular tire got here off on account of the crash. This isn’t to say I doubt my very own ineptitude. Might I’ve glued a tire so poorly it got here off and precipitated me to crash? Completely. Nevertheless it appears extraordinarily unlikely to me that this may occur whereas I used to be touring in a straight line. So I’m going to absolve myself and say the rolled tire was an impact and never a trigger.
Then there’s the opposite query everyone requested me that day, and that you just’re in all probability asking too:
Had been you sporting a helmet?
No, I used to be not, and I’ll deal with that in an epilogue tomorrow. Nonetheless, I’ll say that the reduce was a neat slice nearly actually attributable to the bicycle, and that it was in a location that will have been uncovered to a pointy bicycle half with or and not using a helmet. Nonetheless, it will be disingenuous for me to not not less than acknowledge the topic or to reveal whether or not or not my emotions regarding helmets have modified, and I most actually will…however not proper now.
Within the meantime, I’ll say that I did and do really feel extraordinarily lucky. Sure, even now I’m nonetheless fairly banged up, however not solely was I capable of benefit from the holidays with my household, however I used to be even capable of get again on the bike after a few days, albeit gingerly. Plus, whereas getting injured isn’t enjoyable, my accidents in all probability inspired me to relaxation greater than I might have in any other case, which I in all probability wanted. Generally the universe must slap some sense into you, and that’s precisely what it did.
And eventually, talking of feeling lucky, whereas I’ll not have replied to everybody individually, I’m exceedingly grateful to these of you who made a bit end-of-year-contribution additional to my final submit. Thanks, thanks, thanks. I’ve very beneficiant readers, and I walked away from a high-speed crash. What extra may I probably need?
2026 is off to a advantageous begin!
