I like my bikes the best way I like my tuna melts: no batteries, no Bluetooth connections, and no suspension programs.
That’s why I desire a motorcycle just like the Homer…
…over a motorcycle just like the Kona Aburrido or no matter it’s referred to as:
I imply it’s high quality if that’s what you’re into, however I merely don’t wanna cope with these items:
On the identical time, I don’t solely like smart metal bikes with friction shifting and fenders. All of us have our turn-ons that defy logic and pragmatism, and mine is street racing bikes. Positive, sure issues like disc brakes can destroy it for me, since they’re kind of like spinach within the enamel:
However as a lot as I fancy myself a daily “Joe Tuna Soften” I additionally do get the visceral attraction of a high-end street racing bike, and I nonetheless take pleasure in using them.
The issue is that they’re costly. Some individuals say Rivendae are costly as a result of they price greater than Surlys or no matter (FOR CHRISSAKES STOP COMPARING RIVENDELLS TO SURLYS), however high-end street racing bikes are costly. For instance, right here’s one which I’ve chosen roughly at random:
The bike is outwardly simple to journey (no matter meaning), however that’s not what we’re right here:
What we’re is the worth, and this one prices fifteen thousand {dollars}:
Which is corresponding to what different pro-level race bikes prices:
Now, I’m not saying that is improper or something like that. Positive, I do assume the identify is horrible. “ENVE Melee,” actually?!? They may as properly have referred to as it the ENVE Meanie Miney Moe. However the worth is the worth, and completely no person is forcing you to purchase an ENVE Melee. In truth, so far as street bikes go, for those who ignore the stratospherically-priced top-of-the-line fashions the Freds of at the moment arguably have it higher than the Freds of yesteryear.
Nonetheless, for those who do wish to personal a top-of-the-line street bike, this does pose a little bit of a sensible downside for anybody who doesn’t have $15,000 to spend on a hunk of plastic. Positive, you may get a lower-end mannequin, however it’s not the identical factor. Properly, high quality, virtually talking is similar factor, since no person’s scranus can detect the distinction between the moduli of carbon fibers; for that matter, a blindfolded Fred couldn’t even inform Dura-Ace from 105, and Pogačar in all probability would have gained the Tour on a Bikesdirect particular. Nonetheless, let’s enable that there’s a sure kick that comes from using a race bike with the “greatest” stuff (even when the kick is predicated virtually completely on the logos you see whenever you put your head down), and at that worth a motorcycle just like the ENVE Melee (Jesus, that identify!) stays the area of the rich and/or financially reckless. Positive, Richard Branson might be able to get a motorcycle like that, however even he can’t afford a jersey to go together with it:
BUT!
The excellent news is that these stratospheric costs can’t undermine the easiest factor about bikes. And what’s the perfect factor about bikes? Is it the liberty? Is it the enjoyment they confer to their riders? Is it the truth that an affordable bike is simply as able to granting each pleasure and freedom as an costly one?
Nah.
It’s the depreciation!
At $15,000 it’s possible you’ll not be capable of purchase Pogačar’s Colnago:
However for a tenth of that worth you may purchase Johan Museeuw’s Colnago, which on the time appeared no much less unique, and which at the moment additionally has the excellence of being iconic:
In fact it helps lots to be sufficiently old to have needed these bikes once they have been new, which is unlucky for the younger, who lack not solely cash however the mandatory perspective to understand a real discount. To them a motorcycle like this in all probability appears primitive, however to me it’s a dream bike, and the dearth of something that requires batteries or fluids solely makes it higher:
Oh positive, the Dream Bikes Of Yesteryear gained’t include a dual-sided energy meter (I don’t even know what meaning) just like the Tarmac SL8, however the excellent news is you you don’t want that, since you suck. How do I do know you suck? As a result of for those who didn’t suck somebody wouldn’t solely have given you that Specialised S-Works Tarmac SL8 with a dual-sided energy meter already, however you’d even be getting a paycheck in an effort to journey it.
In fact the true query is whether or not the bikes of at the moment might be equally fascinating in 20 years. 9-speed cassettes are actually low cost and ample, however will you be capable of get a firmware replace for a wi-fi drivetrain in 2044? It may very well be that by then a 2003 LeMond might be simpler to maintain on the street than a 2024 ENVE Melee. Solely time will inform.
Both approach, given the worth of a top-of-the-line race bike at the moment, it’s in all probability definitely worth the wait.
