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Home Cycling

Hurry Up And Wait

April 11, 2026
in Cycling
Reading Time: 10 mins read
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Hurry Up And Wait


As any Continental Military common or John Wayne Bobbitt* will inform you, you don’t need to go off half-cocked, which is is why you shouldn’t purchase that thrilling new gravel bike you’ve had your eye on:

*[I really do deserve a Most Dated References On The Internet Award, or “Datie”]

And sure, that’s Half 2 within the collection, which began method again in March of 2025:

Screenshot 2026 04 10 081455

This implies the Bicycling journal subscriber and potential gravel bike proprietor has been ready over a 12 months now for a inexperienced mild, which raises an necessary query:

What have they been driving within the meantime?

Like, are they on some previous street bike with rim brakes? No, I doubt anybody who reads Bicycling continues to be utilizing rim brakes. It’s because again in 2018, when the UCI legalized disc brakes on street bikes, Bicycling ran a program modeled on the various firearm buybacks organized by police departments throughout the nation through which riders may anonymously give up their dangerously out of date rim brake bicycles within the identify of public security. They then adopted it up with Money For Mechanical Drivetrains, thereby fully modernizing America’s street bicycle fleet.

As for gravel bikes, apparently that’s extra like cryptocurrency. Are we on the backside, or on the high? What number of extra wild swings can we anticipate? Or is all of it simply happening to zero? For those who purchased a gravel bike a 12 months or two in the past, it’s now nugatory as a result of it doesn’t match 50mm tires. However purchase a gravel bike with 50mm tire clearance at present and it might be out of date tomorrow as a result of it doesn’t match 32-inch wheels. But you could possibly nonetheless purchase a 32-inch wheel bike tomorrow and discover out six months later they obtained the geometry all improper. Or possibly you shouldn’t be gravel bikes in any respect and needs to be purchasing for drop-bar mountain bikes, which both are gravel bikes or aren’t, relying on who you ask.

Whew!

In the meantime, having simply bought an ISGB for like nineteen bucks and a 12-pack of Pamplemousse LaCroix (how the hell has the Nationwide Beverage Corp. not executed a business for Pamplemousse LaCroix sung to the tune of “Nearer To The Coronary heart” by Rush?), I do know all to properly that the gravel bike market is stagnant. In reality, one 12 months in the past I personally warned that the bubble was about to burst, citing the glut of gravel conversions as certainly one of a number of signs, and this one continues to be on the market:

Screenshot 2026 04 10 081800

Not solely that, however one professional group will trip Paris-Roubaix this 12 months on an “amateur-focused” bike:

Screenshot 2026 04 10 082428

Surprising:

Now it appears Issue is at it once more with a non-standard raceday possibility for the Queen of the Classics, with the information that Trendy Journey Professional Biking will race on Sunday aboard the Monza reasonably than the lighter and extra aerodynamic OSTRO VAM.

…ly boring.

It’s ironic that the racing bicycle has been fully reinvented during the last 25 years or so, throughout which period we went from mainly this…

PINARELLO Paris Team Telekom by Jan Ullrich 1999 26

[Via here]

…to mainly this:

Screenshot 2026 04 10 092720

And but what distinction has it made? I suppose the typical speeds have crept up slightly bit, however there are all types of contributing components to that, and little question a minimum of a few of them are pharmacological. And but the developments in rider security throughout which have amounted to…properly, nothing, aside from helmets turning into obligatory in 2003, which has not made the game measurably safer, and if something you’re at all times studying about how professional biking is extra harmful than ever.

So possibly everybody concerned within the sport and the advertising and marketing across the sport will understand they’ve taken bike tech so far as they’ll take it and transfer on to stuff like growing airbag skinsuits as a substitute:

Screenshot 2026 04 10 082220

Rider security does appear to be one thing that deserves extra focus than the way to take away the hook from a rim to be able to make it .000000005% extra aerodynamic, although is “lowering issues about crashing” actually a very good factor?

The swimsuit’s safety is concentrated on the rib cage and thorax, stabilisation of the neck and backbone safety, says Van Rysel. Its “detection algorithms” are primarily based on greater than 450 million kilometres of information, analysing rider actions at 1,000 a second, it provides.

The group’s CEO Dominique Serieys, says the swimsuit will enhance rider efficiency by lowering psychological stress and issues about crashing.

Isn’t that referred to as “danger compensation?” Gained’t all of them simply trip round hitting one another like they’re sporting inflatable sumo fits?

sumo wrestling the office

If the last word purpose is “lowering psychological stress and issues about crashing” then a shot of whiskey at first looks like it could be rather a lot simpler.



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