There’s a saying in poker. ‘When you can’t spot the sucker in your first half hour on the desk then you’re the sucker’.
Golf is filled with suckers, in fact. Hackers who assume they’re professionals. Guidelines pedants. Anybody sporting a white belt.
However there’s one who stands above. I’d usually write ‘proudly’, however this participant has received nothing to be content material about.
When you can’t recognise this most cancers on the fairways from what I’m about to let you know – and it appears each fourball has received one of their ranks – properly, hey, it’s you.
Who’s the worst individual within the membership? The straggler. This particular person’s so depraved, so nefarious, their taking part in companions have rid themselves of any want to be of their firm. That’s why they’re at all times lagging behind. Miles behind.
They’ve received a compulsive must fuss and fanny about.
They’re the golfers who can’t let a ball go. They’ll roam up and down like a robotic mower till they discover one thing – something – to exchange the battered Molitor they’ve simply smacked into the cabbage. Three minutes? You’re having fun.
The straggler has additionally received a Masters in fiddling. It’s very simple to get a headcover again on however they make it seem like they’re deciphering quantum mechanics.
Can’t play, gained’t play: The straggler is the worst individual at your golf membership
Their trolley is at all times on the improper facet of the inexperienced. Then, after you’ve been queuing as much as hit that method shot for the final 10 minutes on a crammed course, they’ll saunter proper throughout your line as they clear the placing floor and ship your blood boiling additional.
Filling in scorecards? You already know the place that is going. Stood like a statue on the inexperienced, natch.
On the few events they’re truly degree with the remainder of their group, that is the time they select to impart one thing they contemplate of essential significance to an harmless sufferer within the occasion.
This dialog can’t happen on the transfer, you perceive. It have to be performed at shut quarters, at a standstill, with you naturally swinging behind in fury on the tee.
And might they play? Don’t be so silly. You’ll faucet into your keyboards in a frenzy about 54-handicappers however that is your actual enemy. Tee photographs are topped, approaches thinned, putts blazed previous the outlet.
The one doable excuse I can provide you with for them is the speculation of time dilation.
Not heard of it? It’s the place the size of time modifications when objects journey near the velocity of sunshine. So 30 seconds for them is like three years for the remainder of us.
Are they really going so quick they only appear actually sluggish? Einstein says it’s doable. It’s more likely, nevertheless, they’re simply ignorant .
In order I fume at this newest fool flailing round 250 yards behind the remainder of his group on a par 5 (they have been truly placing out as this man was nonetheless fumbling round for one thing in the course of our fairway), I’m sharpening the sting of my wedge.
It might be an act of mercy. For the remainder of us.
Now have your say
What do you make of the Offended Membership Golfer’s newest moan? Have you ever suffered by the hands of a straggler, or is that this simply one other pointless storm in a teacup? Tell us by leaving a touch upon X.
NOW READ: When you purchase a home overlooking a golf course, don’t complain a couple of golf ball touchdown in your backyard
NOW READ: I hate having to e book my weekend tee occasions on an app. I by no means get to play golf after I need
The submit Meet the very worst taking part in accomplice in golf – and I guess you recognize who precisely I’m speaking about appeared first on Nationwide Membership Golfer.
