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Home Cycling

Now That’s A Stretch

August 8, 2025
in Cycling
Reading Time: 12 mins read
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Now That’s A Stretch


The Web is stuffed with folks criticizing issues they know nothing about. I do know this higher than most, as a result of 90% of this weblog is me criticizing issues I do know nothing about. So I’ve determined to vary that by studying all about electrical mountain bikes:

Okay, let’s see, there’s the “battery:”

And the “motor:”

Yeah, I believe I bought it.

Now that I’m an knowledgeable I can get again to criticizing them. Whew!

Oh, and simply bear in mind:

Pedalling help may help riders with accidents, disabilities or well being issues get out on the paths, or much less match riders sustain with sportier associates/companions.

You already know, riders like this man:

We want mountain bikes with motors as a result of these watermelons aren’t going to assist themselves.

In the meantime, in the UK, an innocuous “Share The Highway” marketing campaign is tearing town of Hull aside like an iceberg of smugness shredding an ocean liner’s, uh, hull:

Largely it’s simply the same old stuff about how cyclists don’t watch the place there going and the way drivers kill folks, although this query did stand out in its sheer profundity:

Paula questioned why cyclists, a lot of whom additionally drove vehicles, behaved otherwise “as quickly as they slip on their Lycra”.

Nice query, Paula! Why certainly?

Effectively, I don’t assume anyone can reply that query conclusively, although there’s simply one thing about clothes produced from Lycra that makes you wish to dance:

And sing:

And sometimes pummel the shit out of someone:

And these are only a few of the fantastic issues you are able to do in Lycra.

Oh, and do you know Lance wasn’t the one Armstrong to put on Lycra?

This message has been delivered to you by LYCRA®, the official cloth of F-U-N!

Oh, and fuck cotton.

(Sure, as anybody who purchased their first street bike 9 months in the past and realized the best way to use clipless pedals six months in the past will inform you, by no means, ever experience a motorcycle whereas sporting cotton.)

By the way in which, since LYCRA® is in fact a globally acknowledged trademark, I’ll confer with it within the correct style (“LYCRA®”) going ahead:

Although if the folks at LYCRA® are so involved they need to actually go in any case these bike-haters who’re at all times railing in opposition to folks in “Lycra.”

It appears to me that the style by which folks have turned the LYCRA® trademark right into a byword for irresponsible cyclists (after they don’t even know for positive whether or not the irresponsible cyclists in query are even sporting correct LYCRA®-brand stretchy shorts!) is grounds for a lawsuit. Actually with all its billions of {dollars} from a long time of constructing underpants for astronauts and activewear for for individuals who do half-assed exercises within the suburbs LYCRA® might have interaction a dream workforce of attorneys to not solely restore some dignity to the identify but in addition eradicate anti-cyclist slander as soon as and for all.

Although I assume that would backfire on us they usually might simply resolve to go after the cyclists as a substitute.

Overlook I stated something.

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