Welcome to KB’s Previous College (and New College) Critiques. I’ve been reviewing wrestling reveals for over ten years now and have reviewed over 5,000 reveals. Each Monday, Wednesday and Friday, I’ll be posting a brand new evaluation right here on Wrestlingrumors.internet, beginning as we speak. It might be something from fashionable WWE to old skool to indies to something in between. Be aware that I fee utilizing letters as a substitute of stars and I don’t fee matches beneath three minutes as actually, how good or unhealthy can one thing that brief be?
December To DismemberDate: December 3, 2006Location: James Brown Enviornment, Augusta, GeorgiaAttendance: 4,800Commentators: Joey Types, Tazz
Talking of no effort on the undercard, of the 5 matches apart from the primary occasion, one was introduced. Yeah of a six match card, you had been advised two matches and nonetheless anticipated to pay the complete worth for the present. Now the great signal right here is that the opposite introduced match was the reunited Hardy Boyz vs. MNM (Joey Mercury and Johnny Nitro, an excellent younger group and harking back to the Hardys.) however the lack of effort right here doesn’t bode effectively. Let’s get to it.
Naturally the opening video focuses on the Chamber and the way superb it’s that there are WEAPONS within the pods now.
MNM vs. Hardy Boyz
Jeff is Intercontinental Champion coming in and contemporary off an extended feud with Nitro. MNM has Melina with them and that is the results of an open problem issued by Matt and Jeff. Matt and Mercury begin issues off with Hardy getting in a shoulder earlier than it’s time for a 4 man standoff. It’s time to work on Joey’s arm but it surely’s off to Nitro, who takes a hiptoss of his personal. Every part breaks down once more and one thing like a double stomach to again suplex drops Mercury once more. Joey lastly will get in a shot to the ribs, solely to have Johnny get caught in a Razor’s Edge right into a sitout powerbomb.
Melina provides a distraction so Matt can get caught by a clothesline. The followers attempt to make this really feel like ECW by shouting about numerous ailments Melina has but it surely’s simply no the identical. A fast headscissors from Melina has Tazz making jokes about her brief skirt, in addition to establishing a double faceplant for 2 on Matt. The announcers hold bickering and you’ll inform this isn’t going to be a lot of a present. It’s simply clear that the trouble isn’t right here and it’s exhibiting badly.
Jeff will get knocked off the apron and MNM will get to make use of some Poetry In Movement for some salt within the wounds. They go a bit too far although with an try at a Twist of Destiny, permitting Matt to shove Joey into Nitro for an excellent quaint crotching. Jeff will get to come back in for a sitout gordbuster on Mercury because the Hardys clear the ring. It’s time to fireside off all of the dives and the followers are literally for a change.
Again inside and Mercury takes the Twist of Destiny, solely to have Nitro pull him away from the Swanton. MNM begins in on Jeff’s again because the followers go much more insane for the great guys. A double whip sends him into the nook, drawing out one other LOUD screech from Melina. Simply to show her price, Melina flips off the followers like a real ECW girl ought to. I imply, she’s not really on the ECW roster but it surely’s not like that roster was robust sufficient for a full pay per view anyway.
A backbreaker/slingshot elbow drop will get two on Jeff and we hit the chinlock, which means it needs to be time for the comeback. Jeff kicks Mercury exterior however he’s sensible sufficient to tug Matt exterior to interrupt up one other tag. Nitro reveals some intelligence of his personal by pulling Jeff again to the MNM nook, solely to have a Whisper within the Wind take each of them down.
Now it’s the recent tag off to Matt for all kinds of clotheslines, together with one within the nook to essentially combine issues up. The Aspect Impact will get two on Nitro as every little thing breaks down. Jeff can’t get a superbomb on Joey as Nitro makes the save, permitting Mercury to counter into an excellent hurricanrana.
The Hardys hit stereo superplexes however Melina will get on the apron for a distraction, solely to get kicked down by Nitro by mistake. The Snapshot (flapjack/DDT combo) will get two on Jeff with Matt making the save, adopted by a double cutter off the center rope to drop Nitro and Mercury on the identical time. The Swanton onto each of them on the identical time offers Jeff the pin at 22:23.
Ranking: B+. Although the present might be going downhill from right here and the ending was a bit flat, this was a really cool model of the outdated tag group method. You simply don’t get that sort of wrestling anymore and it’s actually enjoyable to see them break it out every so often. The Hardys would stick round for a bit on a nostalgia tour, together with a number of extra matches towards MNM. This may be one of many final large time MNM matches because the group would break up quickly after this with Mercury being launched in March.
Rob Van Dam thinks the ECW World Title is definitely worth the dangers of the Elimination Chamber.
Matt Striker vs. Balls Mahoney
Striker is a former trainer who nonetheless wears argyle to the ring, making him one of many largest heels within the new ECW. Mahoney is an ECW unique and appears like a caveman in jean shorts. Earlier than the match, Striker says he’s right here to revive order in a violent society so that is going to be an Excessive Guidelines match.
That might usually imply something goes however Matt means an excessive enforcement of the foundations, which means no eye gouging, no hair pulling, no maneuvers off the highest rope and naturally no foul language. The announcers rip on Striker for having his face on his trunks and I can’t assist however agree. It’s an important heel tactic although. Mahoney goes for the leg to begin however settles for a cross armbreaker to ship Striker over to the ropes.
Matt sends him shoulder first into the put up and begins in on the arm, ensuring to tug the hair behind the referee’s again. We hit the armbar for a bit earlier than Mahoney will get crotched on the highest. A Fujiwara Armbar (with Matt shouting TAP) reveals extra depth than Striker has ever had about something however Mahoney will get the rope. It’s comeback time with a aspect slam and backdrop, adopted by a sitout spinebuster for the pin on Striker at 7:22.
Ranking: D. So not solely are the matches being introduced that evening, however evidently the reserving is being made up on the fly as effectively. This could have been essentially the most fundamental story possible with Mahoney beating him in a straight match earlier than Matt cheats to win. As an alternative we get a clear pin after a couple of minutes of arm work. As normal it’s not the worst match on the earth because the arm work was positive, however this might have been on any given TV present as a substitute of a pay per view.
Sabu has been attacked and is placed on a stretcher. The BS chant drowns out the medics and the following theme music.
Elijah Burke/Sylvester Terkay vs. FBI
Burke is healthier often called D’Angelo Dinero in TNA, Terkay is a giant man with an MMA background and the FBI (Full Blooded Italians) are two smaller guys named Guido Maritato and Tony Marinara, each ECW originals. The Italians even have the attractive and scantily clad Trinity of their nook. Guido and Burke, in a hat, begin issues off as Joey tells a drooling Tazz to take a chilly bathe. Burke is taken to the mat and Guido steals the hat like a real villain, although he’s on the great group right here.
It’s off to Terkay to beat Marinara down within the nook and throw Guido excessive onto his accomplice. Followers: “YOU STILL SUCK!” Guido fights out of Burke’s chinlock however eats operating knees within the nook, adopted by an STO for 2. One other chinlock is damaged and the tag brings in Marinara to scrub home because the followers are simply GONE. The Italians kick out Terkay’s legs however he forearms Tony into the Elijah Expertise (the Stroke) for the pin at 6:42.
Ranking: F. What am I even supposed to consider this? Burke and Terkay had been a nothing group with Terkay being launched in about six weeks. The FBI had been simply one other pair of token ECW originals with Guido being nothing greater than a jobber and Mamaluke being launched on the identical day as Terkay. One other unhealthy match right here and I’m dropping the little religion I’ve within the present.
Terkay lays Guido out put up match.
Sabu is taken away in an ambulance.
Daivari vs. Tommy Dreamer
Daivari has Nice Khali (7’2, 420lbs) in his nook. It is a rematch from a current episode of ECW the place Dreamer beat Daivari by DQ when Khali interfered. An early distraction lets Daivari hammer away, solely to be knocked exterior. Again in and a suplex drops Daivari however Khali low bridges Tommy to the ground. The referee sees it although and ejects the large such as you would possibly see on any given episode of Uncooked.
That’s one of many main points right here: the matches don’t really feel like one thing worthy of a pay per view. Like I stated, this was initially on TV and the rematch doesn’t really feel particular within the slightest. Dreamer will get caught in a chinlock because the followers need hardcore. Good level really as we haven’t had something in addition to an everyday match to date, once more lacking the purpose of ECW. One other chinlock retains the match going and he places Daivari within the Tree of Woe for the operating dropkick. Dreamer’s DDT is loaded up however Daivari grabs a rollup and tights for the pin at 7:22.
Ranking: F+. If there’s some extent to this present in addition to making ECW seem like essentially the most nugatory present that has ever existed, it’s crusing over my head. It’s a bunch of unhealthy matches (save for the opener, which had 4 folks not on the ECW roster) with no tales and weak TV finishes. Dreamer being on the present made sense however you may’t even put him in a hardcore match to present the followers a bit one thing? Apparently not as a result of that could be entertaining and that’s clearly not the aim right here.
Submit match Dreamer chases Daivari up the ramp however runs into Khali, who chokeslams him on the stage for one thing extra fascinating than nearly the rest on the present tonight. Medics verify on Tommy, who says he can’t really feel his ft.
Paul Heyman has discovered a substitute for Sabu: Hardcore Holly. The viewers audibly groans. Not boos, not yells, not shouts, however groans in pure disappointment. That shouldn’t be taking place on a wrestling present however are you able to blame them?
Mike Knox/Kelly Kelly vs. Kevin Thorn/Ariel
Knox is a giant man with a beard and Kelly is his blonde bombshell girlfriend, although she has a factor for CM Punk. She even needs him luck within the Chamber tonight. Thorn is a vampire fanatic and Ariel is his…..I assume girlfriend. Once more no actual story right here apart from two pairs who had nothing else to do. The blokes begin issues off with the primary important contact coming over a minute in as Kevin will get in some proper arms. Knox’s clothesline doesn’t have a lot impact as Thorn grabs a chinlock. They’re simply letting the gang die right here each second the ladies aren’t in there.
Kevin expenses right into a boot for 2 and Knox slowly kilos away earlier than grabbing a entrance facelock. The maintain is pushed again into the nook for the tag to Ariel, which means Kelly has to come back in as effectively. Aries chokes quite a bit together with a boot model within the nook which is nothing greater than an excuse for an upskirt shot. It might be even higher if Kelly really bought any of this. Knox walks away as a substitute of tagging in, leaving Kelly to take a choke legsweep for the pin at 7:43.
Ranking: F-. Solely as a result of this was by some means even worse than the opposite matches. Kelly was attractive and the gang liked her however she was one of many worst “wrestler” I’ve ever seen. Ariel was making an attempt but when that is the very best she has to work with, there’s not a lot else she will do. Completely horrible right here with a lame angle to finish issues.
Submit match Ariel retains choking Kelly till Sandman (ECW legend) comes out for the save.
Bobby Lashley (mainly Brock Lesnar minus charisma) isn’t fearful about Paul Heyman stacking the deck towards him.
We recap the primary occasion, which as normal is mainly only a video concerning the Chamber and other people speaking about how excessive the match shall be.
Right here’s Paul Heyman, flanked by his anonymous private safety, for a chat. Heyman talks about how Hulkamania will die with Hulk Hogan and the WOOs will die with Ric Aptitude however because of him, ECW will reside on without end. That brings him to the Chamber, which Sabu is not going to be taking part in due to his accidents. Nonetheless, tonight is concerning the new era of ECW and never concerning the outdated stars like Sabu or the Sandman. Tonight we see the crowning jewel of the ECW Champion the Large Present, the most important star ECW has ever seen.
The Chamber is lowered.
ECW World Title: Hardcore Holly vs. Check vs. CM Punk vs. Rob Van Dam vs. Lashley vs. Large Present
Present is defending and every pod has a weapon included. They don’t actually attempt to conceal the truth that Present, Holly and Check are on the identical group right here. Holly and Van Dam begin issues off with a gradual tempo (truthful because of the nature of the match) till they head exterior the place Van Dam springboards onto the cage wall in a really cool wanting spot.
Sadly he misses his dive off the cage and clotheslines himself on the highest rope, leaving Holly to face round. Holly goes up high and dives right into a raised boot, permitting Van Dam to hit Rolling Thunder excessive and onto the cage ground. A suplex sends Van Dam again inside and Holly will get in his nice wanting dropkick for 2. CM Punk is available in third and smashes Holly together with his chair. Van Dam picks the chair up and pelts it at Punk’s head to cease him chilly. Punk’s face says one thing like “Okay that actually harm.”
Van Dam tries his legsweep however Punk hits one thing like a Fameasser onto the chair to attract some blood. The bloody head is distributed into the chair within the nook, solely to have Holly swing Punk head first into the cage wall to take over once more. Issues decelerate once more till Holly grabs a high rope superplex on Punk with Van Dam coming in for a close to fall. Rob superkicks Punk to interrupt up a bulldog on Holly (is smart in a approach) and it’s Check together with his crowbar in fourth.
Check goes after Punk and Van Dam however leaves Holly alone to associate with the plan. Van Dam comes again with chair pictures to the villains’ heads, adopted by a operating dropkick to ship the chair into Punk’s head as effectively. The 5 Star Frog Splash eliminates Punk at 12:35, taking no less than half the air out of the world as effectively. Punk was the HEAVY crowd favourite right here and having him exit first after getting overwhelmed up greater than the rest is one other center finger the gang after approach an excessive amount of of the identical all through the evening.
In a clumsy second, Check activates Holly with a giant boot for 2 however the referee says it’s a 3 anyway, placing Holly out at 12:45. Van Dam goes on high of Large Present’s pod however Present reaches via the roof to seize his foot, permitting Check to throw him off for a giant crash. An elbow drop off the pod onto the chair onto Van Dam is sufficient for the elimination at 14:00 and OH MY the gang will not be pleased.
I don’t imply they’re booing or something however they simply utterly activate the present (not arduous at this level) as a result of we’re all the way down to Lashley, Check and Large Present for the title in essentially the most un-ECW match you may think about. If there was ANYTHING the followers might nonetheless cling to on this present it was the hope that Van Dam or Punk might win the title however as a substitute it’s Punk out first and TEST eliminating Van Dam. Sure Check, the identical man who was nothing for years in WWE and was even launched for some time, is the one which removes the most well-liked man left within the match.
As if all that wasn’t sufficient, we’ve a minute to kill as a result of Check has nobody left to struggle. Lashley is meant to come back in fifth however Heyman’s safety guards don’t let him out of his pod, which means we’ve much more ready round. Lashley lastly makes use of his desk to interrupt via the roof of the pod (not that spectacular if you keep in mind Large Present did the identical factor a couple of minutes earlier) and kicks Check away to nearly no response.
Check is distributed arduous right into a pod door as we would as effectively simply have the villains stroll out and let Lashley have a good longer celebration. The chair is kicked into Check’s face as the gang isn’t even bothering reacting to something. A spear pins Check at 19:42 however for some cause there’s over a minute left on the clock so let’s wait round much more as a result of WWE can’t inform time.
Lashley kills time by dragging the desk out of his pod and throwing it at Present’s pod. Present FINALLY will get in together with his barbed wire baseball bat however Lashley blocks a bunch of swings with a chair. One other swing will get caught within the cage wall (with Present clearly shoving it additional in) and we’re all the way down to an everyday struggle.
A shot into the cage has Present busted open and Lashley throws him via a pod door. Heyman is panicking as Present tosses Lashley excessive and again inside however the chokeslam is countered right into a DDT. Again up and Present misses a cost, establishing a spear to present Lashley the title at 24:40. Present’s whole time within the match: three minutes and forty 4 seconds.
Ranking: F-. What else is there even to say about this catastrophe? Truly there’s a really fascinating backstory to this and it explains quite a bit. At this level, Paul Heyman was serving to to put in writing ECW TV and he had a somewhat totally different imaginative and prescient of what this could have been. As an alternative of Lashley successful like this, Heyman was going to place the title on Punk, who would have lasted all through all the match and get rid of Large Present early on (to his credit score, Large Present was utterly on board with the concept and greater than able to put Punk over). This makes much more sense when you think about Present had his title rematch two days later after which left for a 12 months.
On high of that, the match was actually pathetic with profession midcarders Holly and Check taking on spots as a substitute of placing somebody younger in there who would possibly get a rub out of the factor. Sabu actually would have been excellent right here as he excelled in this sort of loopy hardcore atmosphere however as a substitute we had Holly, who wasn’t even an element within the match. This entire factor was a catastrophe and an ideal method to finish one of many worst main reveals ever.
A fast celebration takes us out after lower than two hours and fifteen minutes on the air.
Total Ranking: F. You would really make a case that in the primary occasion, in the meanwhile that Van Dam was pinned, the unique ECW was lastly buried as soon as and for all. It definitely wasn’t alive and effectively but it surely was nonetheless one thing that individuals needed to consider in. Van Dam being eradicated, or as a substitute this present as an entire, was the WWE saying no extra as a result of we’re doing this our approach now.
When you want extra proof simply take a look at the remainder of this present. Apart from an excellent opening match (once more, between folks not on the ECW roster) and the no less than considerably fascinating concept of the primary occasion, there was nothing on this present that mattered with 4 matches within the center not even marketed with a bunch of people that wouldn’t even be on the roster in about six weeks.
On high of that, this present was one week after Survivor Sequence 2006 and two weeks earlier than Armageddon 2006, as within the two full fledged WWE pay per views for November and December. This present was designed to be a catastrophe and the outcomes aren’t surprising because the present solely drew 90,000 pay per view buys, the bottom of all time till the WWE Community modified the pay per view mannequin totally.
Yet another notice on the present itself: this isn’t the wrestlers’ fault. They had been caught in a horrible scenario and needed to make the very best of it. Yeah the wrestling was horrible for essentially the most half however there was no story or cause for having many of the matches. You’ll be able to solely go to date with these limitations and it confirmed badly right here. That’s on the reserving although and never the expertise itself.
The unique ECW died right here and that’s actually the way it appears WWE needed it that approach. Heyman checked out this present and flat out advised Vince that it could bomb. He can be promptly despatched house and didn’t seem on WWE TV for over 5 years. Now I definitely get the concept ECW wasn’t precisely in step with what WWE needed to do, however the followers who nonetheless watched and supported the present didn’t deserve this sort of remedy. It felt like WWE punching the followers within the abdomen after which spitting on them so Vince might giggle at ECW, earlier than turning into ECW Champion in April.
This present is on the shortlist for worst present of all time and it’s actually arduous to give you one thing to high it. They knew this was going to be unhealthy and didn’t even ship a full present (keep in mind that it ran lower than two hours and fifteen minutes with a complete of match time of an hour and sixteen minutes) to the followers who really paid to see it. This was an insult to the followers and I really feel sorry for individuals who really needed to see this as a result of WWE definitely doesn’t assume a lot of them.
Thomas Corridor has been a wrestling fan for over thirty years and has seen over 50,000 wrestling matches. He has additionally been a wrestling reviewer since 2009 with over 5,000 full reveals lined. Yow will discover his work at kbwrestlingreviews.com, or take a look at his- Amazon creator web page with 30 wrestling books. His newest guide is KB’s Full 2004 Monday Night time Uncooked Critiques.
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