Welcome to KB’s Outdated College (and New College) Critiques. I’ve been reviewing wrestling exhibits for over ten years now and have reviewed over 5,000 exhibits. Each Monday, Wednesday and Friday, I’ll be posting a brand new evaluation right here on Wrestlingrumors.internet, beginning at this time. It may very well be something from fashionable WWE to old style to indies to something in between. Observe that I charge utilizing letters as a substitute of stars and I don’t charge matches below three minutes as actually, how good or unhealthy can one thing that brief be?
Royal Rumble 2003Date: January 19, 2003Location: Fleet Middle, Boston, MassachusettsAttendance: 15,338Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler
It is a actually odd entry within the collection because the namesake match is being handled as secondary to nearly all the pieces else. Actually, coming into this present, there’s an excellent argument to be made that Torrie Wilson vs. Daybreak Marie is being handled as a much bigger deal than the Rumble itself. Let’s get to it.
The opening video is your customary montage of wrestlers speaking about what it means to go to Wrestlemania as a result of the street begins tonight.
Massive Present vs. Brock Lesnar
The winner is within the Rumble and the loser is out within the chilly. They do the customary alternate of shoves to start out with the followers nearly totally behind Lesnar. Brock drives him into the nook to little avail however the stomach to stomach works a bit higher. A second works simply as effectively however the third is countered with a scary toss excessive. Again in and we hit the choke, which you’ll inform is critical as a result of Cole begins speaking about Present’s shoe measurement.
Brock comes proper again with the discharge German suplex however Heyman affords a distraction to interrupt issues up. An enormous boot and aspect slam drop Lesnar for all of ten seconds earlier than he’s again up with an different stomach to stomach. Cue Heyman however he will get caught in an F5 try, solely to have Present make the save with a chokeslam for 2. A second try is countered right into a sloppy F5 to ship Lesnar to the Rumble.
Ranking: D+. It was brief (lower than seven minutes) and had the one doable ending (it’s not like there are lots of different potential Rumble winners) so it’s onerous to complain that a lot. The F5 didn’t look nice but it surely was how the match ought to have ended. This most likely must be about it for Massive Present as a fundamental occasion man however you recognize that’s not going to be the case, which is a part of the issue on Smackdown.
Chris Jericho is able to win the Rumble and will get his World Title again at Wrestlemania.
Uncooked Tag Staff Titles: Dudley Boyz vs. William Regal/Lance Storm
Regal and Storm are defending. Bubba punches Storm within the nook to start out and hits one thing like a spinebuster. To essentially combine issues up, Bubba grabs a leglock for just a few seconds earlier than handing it off to D-Von. Regal is available in and will get punched in addition to this isn’t precisely shaking the sensation that it’s a glorified Uncooked match. The champs take over on D-Von with Storm drop toeholding him down right into a sliding knee from Regal (good spot).
We hit the cravate for a bit and a chinlock retains D-Von in hassle. That doesn’t final lengthy both although as D-Von fights up and makes the recent tag to Bubba for the home cleansing. Regal takes What’s Up however right here’s Chief Morely for a distraction to stop the 3D. It doesn’t fairly work so effectively although as D-Von makes use of the distraction to seize Regal’s brass knuckles and knock Storm foolish for the pin and the titles. Lawler: “I’m as confused as a child in a topless bar.” He’s confused sufficient to seek advice from Regal as Steve.
Ranking: C-. This was only a Uncooked match with a title change and contemplating Booker T. and Goldust by no means even acquired a rematch after dropping the titles, I don’t know what the pondering right here is. Have been Booker and Goldust actually that unhealthy of a workforce? I do know it’s a sin to recover from with out the corporate swearing off on it but it surely’s a number of the oddest reserving of the yr.
Home present adverts. They didn’t edit this off the Community? I like having the whole variations but it surely’s an odd option to maintain in.
Nathan Jones vignette.
We get a protracted recap of the Al Wilson Saga, which nonetheless doesn’t make a lot sense and went on WAY too lengthy if that is their huge thought. Mainly Daybreak Marie determined she needed to destroy Torrie Wilson’s life (I feel?) by marrying Torrie’s father. She ultimately went by with it however had a lot, ahem, enjoyable with Al on their honeymoon that he died.
Daybreak blames Torrie for this and the match is on, although it was booked earlier than Al died. If this was all some huge con by Daybreak, what does she get out of it? Getting a match with Torrie? She appears upset and we haven’t gotten any scene of Daybreak saying it was all made up so I suppose we’re presupposed to take it at face worth. I do know I harp on this loads however I nonetheless don’t get how this was presupposed to work.
Daybreak Marie vs. Torrie Wilson
Daybreak is in common ring gear and a black veil, which makes her look extra like Jimmy Jack Funk (from the neck up) than the rest. Daybreak elbows her within the face on the bell however Torrie takes her down in addition to these two are going to have the ability to do. Torrie will get caught in a Fujiwara armbar because the announcers cowl the story intimately. Effectively the current half at the very least as principally all the pieces after Armageddon has been forgotten at this level.
Daybreak stays on the arm (that’ll train Torrie for killing Daybreak’s husband) and grabs a flapjack. They collide in a nasty wanting spot and the boring chants start. Daybreak really hits a good wanting center rope spinning clothesline, solely to fall sufferer to that horrible swinging neckbreaker to offer Torrie the pin.
Ranking: F. Actually, what else had been you anticipating right here? The feud was as cleaning soap opera stage as you’re going to have and the wrestlers are each fashions and little extra. One way or the other that’s about as a lot as you would have thought these two would do and hopefully it wraps up the story for good. I do know it gained’t however it might be good.
Eric Bischoff and Stephanie McMahon run into one another within the again with Stephanie being smug about Eric’s thirty days to repair Uncooked deal. Eric asks if her job is protected too however she doesn’t appear fearful, partially as a result of she has her personal shock for Uncooked. As with most instances of each GM’s on display screen directly, this was a giant waste of time.
Sean O’Haire tells us to not go to church.
We recap Scott Steiner vs. HHH. Steiner confirmed up in November and was instantly shoved into the title image however hasn’t really had a match but. As a substitute it’s been stuff like a posedown, a bench press contest (which didn’t occur), arm wrestling and a pushup contest. The thought is that Steiner can do all the pieces HHH can and may additionally be utterly insane. The truth that they’ve barely been allowed to get bodily ought to be a bit worrisome however HHH wouldn’t allow us to down.
Uncooked World Title: HHH vs. Scott Steiner
Steiner is difficult and HHH is within the extremely uncommon crimson trunks. Earlier than the bell, Hebner holds up the title and insists that he’s the regulation round right here it doesn’t matter what. Steiner wins the early slugout and chops away within the nook, adopted by the gorilla press to ship HHH rolling to the ground. The champ’s again is distributed into the publish just a few occasions and a tough Irish whip makes his again even worse.
We hit a Boston crab for a bit with HHH crawling to the ropes just a few seconds later. That’s not very noteworthy, however Steiner falling over when the maintain is damaged isn’t probably the most encouraging signal. The facebuster is not any bought and we hit a rapidly damaged bearhug. Steiner will get within the first stomach to stomach for 2 and Aptitude pulls him out to the ground.
Again in and Steiner fees right into a boot to the face earlier than being despatched into the steps for good measure. HHH stomps and chokes within the nook with Aptitude including choking of his personal. One other neckbreaker will get two for the champ and you may see how winded Steiner already is. Aptitude chokes on the ropes once more to fill in as a lot time as doable earlier than Steiner reverses the Pedigree.
Scott catapults him into the buckle and grabs the second overhead suplex….earlier than simply collapsing subsequent to the ropes. We’re not even 9 minutes into the match and the man can’t even rise up. Steiner picks him up for what appears to be like like a Tombstone and you’ll assume he was about to enter labor. HHH slips out and tries a Diamond Cutter however Steiner goes backwards with it like a daily neckbreaker. In any case these years of working with Diamond Dallas Web page he can’t take a regular face first bump?
You may hear the group dropping their persistence with this one. Aptitude performs cheerleader and the followers really cheer for HHH, who could also be boring however he’s at the very least wanting competent right here. The champ dives into one other overhead suplex however Steiner nonetheless can’t comply with up. Some Steiner Strains arrange suplexes 4, 5 and 6, adopted by a spinning model for 2.
Steiner tries a tiger bomb and falls down, drawing straight up booing from the followers. The announcers try as onerous as they will to make Steiner sound like a risk right here and it’s going as badly as you’ll count on. HHH heads up prime so it’s a superplex for 2 extra. That’s sufficient to ship HHH and Aptitude up the aisle however Steiner isn’t carried out but and drags them again. As lame as an ending as that will be, it was the suitable name at this level.
A belt shot to HHH’s head attracts some blood they usually proceed to stagger round ringside with no thought what to do. One other stomach to stomach (ninth suplex whole) sends HHH outdoors once more they usually brawl into the group as a result of THIS MATCH JUST CAN’T END. Again in once more with Steiner doing the pushups and laboring by some proper fingers within the nook. Now Aptitude tries to get the referee to cease the match however the referee retains going as a result of he’s that form of evil.
Steiner hates the match as a lot as everybody else does so he throws Hebner outdoors however THAT’S NOT A DQ EITHER. The tenth suplex will get two and you may see Steiner wanting determined. HHH will get in a low blow and rolls Steiner up for 2. That’s FINALLY sufficient for HHH as he grabs sledgehammer and hits Scott within the ribs for the DQ, incomes a refrain of boos that will make Roman Reigns proud.
Ranking: N. For Not HHH’s Fault. For as soon as, this could’t be blamed on HHH, who was simply caught in a horrible state of affairs and couldn’t do something with it. To be truthful although, nobody was going to have the ability to get something satisfactory out of this mess. Steiner wasn’t prepared for this match and had no enterprise going greater than 5 minutes, not to mention eighteen. The attention-grabbing factor right here although is the primary eight minutes ran greater than effectively sufficient. It was a boring begin but it surely was nowhere close to a catastrophe and even actually unhealthy. The issue is the second half of the match the place EVERYTHING falls aside.
You’ll hear loads of comparisons between this Steiner and Brock Lesnar’s Suplex Metropolis however the secret’s within the supply. Lesnar suplexes the heck out of individuals after which pops as much as do it once more. Steiner was suplexing HHH right here after which taking twenty seconds to get to his toes out of pure exhaustion. When you may see wrestlers go twenty minutes with out even respiratory onerous, there’s no excuse for a fundamental eventer almost passing out from exhaustion within the first ten minutes. There’s a cause that is remembered so horribly and it greater than lives right down to its status.
Put up match Steiner hits him with the sledgehammer and grabs the Steiner Recliner. JR: “There’s no manner out of this maintain.” In different phrases, sure they’re really doing a rematch. Bischoff ultimately comes out and will get Steiner off of HHH because the followers are so apathetic in the direction of any of this.
We recap Chris Benoit vs. Kurt Angle. Kurt gained the title with assist from his new agent Paul Heyman, who additionally represents Massive Present. Benoit beat Present to turn out to be the brand new #1 contender and you recognize that is going to be a basic it doesn’t matter what. That being stated, there’s not a lot of a secret to the truth that they’re constructing in the direction of Lesnar vs. Angle at this level. A minimum of we are able to have an unimaginable match on the way in which there.
Smackdown World Title: Chris Benoit vs. Kurt Angle
Angle is defending. Benoit has to take care of Staff Angle to start out in order that’s a double ejection. Chris tries a really fast Sharpshooter (which Tazz calls a Boston crab for some cause), sending Angle outdoors for a breather. Again in and one other leg maintain sends Angle to the ropes as evidently they’ve a very long time right here.
Benoit simply wins a battle of the chops and will get two off a clothesline to the again of the top. A DDT onto the apron makes issues even worse however Angle rolls away from the Swan Dive. The Angle Slam is reversed although and we hit the Sharpshooter. Angle grabs the ropes in addition to a stomach to stomach (after that final match, I’m shocked these weren’t banned like bar stools on Frasier) to essentially take over for the primary time.
We hit the chinlock with a bodyscissors on Benoit for a bit earlier than a double clothesline places each guys down. Again up they usually commerce German suplexes with Benoit getting the higher of it. Chris takes too lengthy going up prime although and Angle runs the nook for the stomach to stomach superplex. The Crossface goes on just a few seconds later with Benoit switching to the ankle lock (that’s like a Bingo house in an Angle match).
Kurt’s ankle lock is reversed into the Crossface which is reversed right into a rollup which is reversed proper again into the Crossface. Angle will get to his toes for an Angle Slam however there’s no cowl. There go the straps although and it’s again to the ankle lock. Benoit will get two off a rollup because the announcers are dropping their minds (rightfully so).
Kurt is sick of this submission stuff and tries a German suplex, solely to have Benoit reverse right into a launch model, drawing fairly the spherical of applause. With Angle three quarters of the way in which throughout the ring, Benoit hits the perfect wanting Swan Dive I’ve ever seen for a delayed two. Angle grabs a powerbomb however drops Benoit face first onto the buckle, adopted by one other Slam for 2.
We’re proper again to the Crossface however Angle rolls by into the ankle lock which might’t be reversed this time. Benoit kicks him away as a substitute, solely to get caught within the ankle lock once more. Chris tries to drag him into the Crossface however Angle holds on and will get the grapevine to FINALLY make Benoit faucet as a result of he was crushed and he knew it.
Ranking: A+. I’ve seen this match a number of occasions now and I’m nonetheless exhausted simply watching it. These guys had been beating the heck out of one another with all the pieces wanting wherever from nice to unbelievable (that Swan Dive specifically). This was excellent stuff and the most effective wrestling matches I’ve ever seen. There’s additionally a little bit of a HHH vs. Cactus Jack vibe to it with Angle being backed right into a nook and having to battle, solely to show that he’s certainly the higher man, at the very least on this night time. Verify this out if you happen to haven’t seen it in awhile, or simply as a result of it’s price seeing a number of occasions.
After an Anthology advert, Benoit will get the massive standing ovation, which most likely ought to have despatched him to a World Title shot (at the very least) at Wrestlemania. As a substitute it was a spot in a 3 manner for the Tag Staff Titles as a result of that’s how WWE labored in 2003.
Rob Van Dam and Kane agree that it’s each man for himself tonight.
Royal Rumble
90 second intervals (although Fink says two minutes) with Shawn Michaels at #1 and Chris Jericho at #2. If nothing else, at the very least Shawn is beginning to appear to be a wrestler once more as a substitute of the tiny factor he was again at Survivor Collection. Truly grasp on a second because it’s Christian in Jericho’s garments as a substitute of Chris himself. Cue Jericho from beneath the ring to hit Shawn low. One heck of a beatdown ensues with Jericho busting Shawn open with a chair as Christopher Nowinski is in at #3. He’s keen to remain on the ground whereas Jericho beats on Shawn some extra and simply eliminates him.
Nowinski remains to be on the ground as Rey Mysterio is in at #4. Rey tries to hurry issues up and slips out of a gorilla press, solely to get punched out to the apron. As standard, Jericho celebrates early and will get dropkicked into the ropes. Nowinski FINALLY will get in and it’s Edge in at #5. Outdoors of Nowinski, that’s fairly the primary 4. Spears abound as Rey will get again into it and Nowinski is distributed outdoors however not eradicated.
Jericho is distributed into the publish and thru the ropes to the ground. Rey and Edge shake fingers and go at it with Rey hitting the 619 however he will get powerbombed to place each guys down. It’s Christian in at #6 with a proposal to reform the workforce with Edge. That earns him a spear however right here’s Nowinski to throw Edge and Mysterio to the apron. Chavo Guerrero is in at #7 because the Smackdown is robust with this Rumble.
Rey and Chavo do a fast lucha sequence with the 619 organising a springboard seated senton. Christian eats a 619 of his personal, adopted by a hurricanrana to eliminate Nowinski. Jericho comes again in for a tough clothesline to eliminate Mysterio and right here’s Tajiri in at #8. Issues quiet down a bit with Chavo choking Jericho within the nook and Tajiri not with the ability to remove Christian.
Invoice DeMott is in at #9 and assaults varied individuals in brief order. The followers aren’t precisely thrilled right here as we’re ready on the massive identify to wash out a few of these names. Tommy Dreamer is in at #10 to offer us Dreamer, Jericho, Edge, Christian, Chavo, Tajiri and DeMott. Dreamer brings weapons with him and Edge knocks DeMott out with a kendo stick. Jericho and Christian hit a con-trashcanlid-o on Dreamer and eliminate him with out a lot effort. Tajiri takes them each down with a handspring elbow however the Tarantula is well damaged up, permitting Jericho to eliminate him.
B2, nonetheless with the Cena entrance theme, is in at #11…and Edge eliminates him in lower than thirty seconds. Chavo is speared out subsequent, adopted by a bloody Jericho (from a Dreamer kendo stick shot) dumping Edge and Christian to depart himself on their own. Rob Van Dam is in at #12 as a result of Edge/Van Dam vs. Christian/Jericho was out of the query for some cause. A superkick has Jericho in hassle and he’s catapulted all the way in which to the apron. Matt Hardy, who strongly dislikes mustard, is in at #13 and drops Rob with a Aspect Impact.
Van Dam will get double teamed for a bit till he flips over Jericho and kicks Matt within the face for good measure. The 5 Star hits Jericho and it’s Eddie Guerrero in at #14. We get a rehash of Eddie vs. Van Dam from final yr till Matt helps Eddie arrange an unsightly frog splash. That earns Eddie a Twist of Destiny (Eddie is smarter than that) and it’s Jeff Hardy in at #15.
Jeff doesn’t purchase the reunion thought both (like anybody would purchase a Hardys reunion in 2003 or past) and beats Matt up, solely to have Shannon Moore dive onto Matt to save lots of him from a Swanton. That’s advantageous with Jeff so he crushes each of them as Rosey is in at #16. Matt will get backdropped to the apron because the eliminations have slowed WAY down. Check is in at #17 and will get to wash home a bit with out eliminating anybody. , as a result of Rosey wants to stay round.
A rapping John Cena is in at #18 giving the reason why he’s going to win this. The digicam stays on him and for as soon as it’s not the most important downside as nothing is occurring within the ring. Van Dam beats him up on the ground (possibly for wrestling in denims as a substitute of jean shorts for a change) and it’s Charlie Haas in at #19. The place are Lesnar and Undertaker to clear these individuals out? Jeff tries to run up the nook so Rob eliminates him, nonetheless leaving us with far too many individuals.
Rikishi is in at #20, giving us Rikishi, Jericho, Rob Van Dam, Matt Hardy, Eddie Guerrero, Rosey, Check, Cena and Haas. Rosey and Rikishi have a bizarre household reunion as Shannon is available in to guard Matt. That simply earns him a double Stinkface, or at the very least it might have if Rosey hadn’t clotheslined Rikishi as a substitute. Jamal is in at #21 to superkick Rikishi, who pops proper again up with a Stinkface for his…..brother I consider.
Kane is in at #22 to wash home however he brings Rico in with a chokeslam to fill the ring up much more. Rosey is tossed in a rush and it’s a double chokeslam for Matt and Shannon. Shelton Benjamin is in at #23 because the ring is WAY too full with eleven individuals in there, plus Shannon and Rico at varied occasions. All of them battle close to the ropes and it’s Booker T. in at #24. We go to a bizarre closeup for an ax kick on Kane and there’s the Spinarooni. Eddie will get backdropped out and it’s A-Practice in at #25.
An excellent wanting A-Practice Bomb (chokebomb) crops Cena and one other one hits Van Dam however Rikishi superkicks A-Practice within the face. Jericho is distributed to the apron AGAIN however right here’s a bandaged Shawn to go after Jericho, permitting Check to knock him out. Shawn stays on Jericho and that’s a Wrestlemania match. Maven is in at #26 (as a result of this match wanted two Robust Sufficient names) and goes after Kane as issues decelerate once more. Goldust is in at #27 and doesn’t even final a minute earlier than Staff Angle places him out. They do the identical to Booker T. just a few seconds later, ensuring that the Booker T./Goldust workforce is swiftly crushed once more.
Batista is in at #28 and eliminates Check (after EIGHTEEN MINUTES, or longer than Edge and Mysterio mixed) and Rikishi. Brock Lesnar is in at #29 and turns into the obvious winner since….effectively final yr with HHH really. He wastes no time in eliminating Staff Angle earlier than throwing Matt onto each of them. Now that’s the way you filter out some our bodies. Undertaker is in at #30 to offer us a closing group of Undertaker, Van Dam, Cena, Jamal, Kane, A-Practice, Maven, Batista and Lesnar. Not the worst discipline really.
Undertaker dumps Cena (Which may have arrange a heck of a Wrestlemania match at this time however we needed a actuality present second as a substitute. Sure you probably did need that and Kevin Dunn instructed me so.) and Jamal (Why was he nonetheless there?) earlier than Maven hits the identical dropkick as final yr. This time there’s no impact although, making Maven’s celebration a bit amusing.
After Maven is launched out, A-Practice hits the A-Practice Bomb on Undertaker. Van Dam and Kane eliminate A-Practice and we’re down to 5. Kane masses up Rob in a gorilla press….and throws him out in a sensible transfer (not a heel flip). Batista and Kane are put down with a double clothesline and it’s time for Lesnar vs. Undertaker.
That’s damaged up earlier than something can occur although and the Brothers of Destruction begin taking up. Brock takes care of Batista and Kane so we are able to have the Undertaker showdown. The F5 is countered and Brock takes a Tombstone, adopted by Undertaker dumping Batista and Kane. Batista comes again in and eats a chair shot, leaving Brock to remove Undertaker for the win.
Ranking: B. There was a REALLY unhealthy useless spot within the center and a number of the selections had been in all places (Check, Jamal and Rikishi all getting over fourteen minutes whereas Los Guerreros, Edge and Mysterio had been all afterthoughts) however the ending was the suitable name. The ultimate 4 wasn’t a nasty group in any respect and having Lesnar dump Undertaker to win is pretty much as good a transfer as they may have made.
There was VERY little construct to this match they usually did effectively sufficient with it whereas they may. It’s not a horrible Rumble however there are lots of higher choices. Repair the center half and eliminate individuals at a sooner clip and it’s an important one, however as it’s it’s simply fairly good. Then once more, for this yr that’s fairly the praise.
The massive downside right here although is how weak the midcard and decrease card is. Perhaps it’s simply the way in which a few of them had been booked however other than Lesnar, Undertaker and MAYBE Jericho, was anybody an actual risk to win right here? Having an apparent winner is ok however it might be good to construct up another person as a doable winner.
Total Ranking: B-. The World Title matches cancel one another out and fortunately the Rumble is there to make up for a nothing decrease card. Lesnar profitable was the plain ending right here and that left the remainder of the present to essentially carry issues. Angle vs. Benoit is should see and Steiner vs. HHH could also be as effectively if you happen to’re into unintentional comedy. The remainder of the present although…..egads there’s nothing to see there. It’s a wonderfully good present however the issues are very huge and the Rumble isn’t adequate to make it a basic.
Thomas Corridor has been a wrestling fan for over thirty years and has seen over 50,000 wrestling matches. He has additionally been a wrestling reviewer since 2009 with over 5,000 full exhibits coated. You will discover his work at kbwrestlingreviews.com, or take a look at his- Amazon writer web page with 30 wrestling books. His newest ebook is KB’s Full 2004 Monday Night time Uncooked Critiques.
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SmackDown Outcomes – January 24, 2025
REVIEW: Royal Rumble 2017: All The Individuals
