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Home Cycling

Trying To Keep Up

September 7, 2025
in Cycling
Reading Time: 26 mins read
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Trying To Keep Up


The world of bikes positive does transfer quick! Take a pair weeks off as I simply did and earlier than you already know it you’re completely misplaced. For instance, I fully missed the MADE (WHY ARE THEY YELLING?) bike present in Liberal Hellscape, OR:

Nevertheless, I’ve been doing my finest to get caught up, and I believe the gist of it’s a bunch of individuals with thigh tattoos stood round exhibiting bikes designed to look 35 years outdated, solely with irreverent and/or ironic model names like “Sizzling Salad” and “Microwaved Fish.” Then individuals on the Web gushed about how superb they had been and mentioned stuff like, “The rim brake’s not lifeless!,” which makes me actually offended as a result of the rim brake is totally 100% lifeless, and the individuals who killed it are the exact same ones who depart Web feedback like “The rim brake’s not lifeless!” but in actual life had been the primary individuals to purchase “improvements” like 1x drivetrains and disc brakes and digital the whole lot and a derailleur you’ll be able to stand on for some purpose:

[From here.]

Clearly I’ve underestimated the quantity of people that have to cease mid-ride so as to change a lightbulb.

By the way in which, the complete identify of the present is the MADE Handmade Bike Present, and Stevil over at All Hail The Black Market provides some helpful perspective on that:

Although as somebody who strives for political correcteness I object to the slur “honky,” as a result of the right time period is “Fashionably Tattooed American.”

And sure, earlier than you get all indignant, I absolutely acknowledge the actual purpose I’m cynical concerning the MADE present is as a result of I’m irrelevant and uncool and no one invited me.

One thing else I missed was the Roadini presale:

Although that doesn’t matter as a result of not solely does it seem there are nonetheless Roadinis out there, but in addition it seems I have already got a Roadini:

This was the bike I took with me on my trip, and it left me wanting for nothing, no matter whether or not I used to be using on paved roads…

…or unpaved roads surfaced with Very Small Rocks:

I imply positive, I did often select to disregard an indication or two:

And consequently bought in slightly over my head:

However again on New Yr’s Even after I first assembled this bike, I did so with summer time trip maximization foremost in my thoughts, and I daresay I succeeded in that regard:

We’ve been adjourning to the identical location each summer time for the previous 10 years, and over that point I’ve introduced completely different bikes for various rides, however by way of sheer versatility I’m undecided any of them beats the Roadini:

Completely the Jones has taken me a lot deeper within the woods, however the older I get the extra I understand the foolhardiness of venturing deep into the woods on my own the place there’s no cellphone reception and you may simply get damage or misplaced–and I imply correctly misplaced, like this man:

I don’t wanna be that man.

Talking of getting misplaced, we took slightly aspect journey whereas we had been away, and it seems should you preserve heading north for a pair hours you wind up in a completely completely different nation. Like, they communicate one other language and the whole lot!

Because of this pedestrians ought to all the time put on helmets.

Additionally, you don’t solely have to fret about falling ice. You additionally should be looking out for falling underpants:

And should you haven’t but found out which metropolis that is, the reply is Paris, France:

I imply Berlin, Germany:

I imply…truthfully, I nonetheless do not know the place we had been. All I do know is that they spoke French they usually ate bagels:

They positive prefer to put bizarre shit on bagels:

Additionally, fashion-wise, they’re apparently nonetheless caught in 2007 when the city fixie was king:

Although out on the streets they’re using e-bikes identical to everybody else:

It was an gratifying journey, although I used to be blissful to retreat to the wilderness as soon as once more:

I’ve bought no scarcity of urbanity in my life.

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