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Home Cycling

When The Going Gets Tough, The Tough Wear Band-Aids

April 24, 2025
in Cycling
Reading Time: 16 mins read
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When The Going Gets Tough, The Tough Wear Band-Aids


Right here in America of America, USA, we discover the remainder of the world’s habits deeply complicated. Whether or not it’s consuming meals that isn’t Cheetos, consuming espresso that isn’t Starbucks, or just talking a language that isn’t English, all of it strikes us as fully weird. However there’s nothing that confounds us greater than the Dutch propensity for using bicycles to get locations, and their steadfast refusal to put on helmets whereas doing so:

Nevertheless, within the wake of some [dripping blood letters] SCARY STATISTICS [/dripping blood letters], plainly even the Dutch themselves at the moment are pushing for helmets:

That is very a lot within the American custom of not addressing the true downside in the case of drivers hitting individuals, which is…nicely, drivers hitting individuals, as some Dutchies are stating:

Although strive telling that to the sufferer of a “basic Dutch accident,” who now wears a helmet:

So what occurred? Nicely, he obtained drunk and he crashed his bike:

This actually sums all of it up completely. Was it’s failure to put on a helmet that precipitated the crash? Or was it, you realize, THE FACT THAT HE WAS DRUNK? However in the long run it doesn’t matter. Whether or not it’s reigning in our careless driving or reigning in our extreme consuming, none of us need to do the troublesome factor which may really make a distinction. As an alternative, we choose to do the simple factor, which is to proceed behaving as stupidly as all the time whereas carrying fortunate foam hats as if that alone will make any damaging penalties go away. It additionally has the good thing about mollifying your 8-year-old son, who lacks the sophistication to ask you why you drink a lot. (Or perhaps he’s realized the onerous method to keep away from the topic.)

By the way in which, we’ve identified that there’s a relationship between consuming and bicycle deaths for fairly a while:

And but we maintain drawing the identical conclusion:

Why? As a result of it’s simple, that’s why.

However might there be one thing else at work within the Netherlands in addition to individuals using after too many Heinekens? You recognize, perhaps one thing that begins with the letter “E?”

Sure, go away it to e-bikes to destroy the one place on Earth we might as soon as level to after we needed to show that bicycles as a mode of transportation really work:

Apparently it’s gotten so dangerous over there the police need to verify e-bikes on dynamos:

Look, I’m not saying e-bikes are answerable for all of the ills of society, I’m simply saying it’s getting actually, actually onerous to not imagine that e-bikes are answerable for all of the ills of society.

Nonetheless, whether or not it’s e-bikes or common bikes, it’s vital to keep in mind that it’s the people who find themselves most vital:

It sounds good, however sadly that is fully unfaithful. As a friendless member of the Folks Who Journey Alone Membership*, my bikes are actually all I’ve. Belief me, I don’t want individuals and relationships to take pleasure in using my bikes. However you realize what I do want? My bikes! The individuals are incidental. In truth, are you aware what they name a bunch of pals with out bikes who take pleasure in using collectively? They name them runners:

*[Yes, I realize the idea of a club made up entirely of people who ride alone makes no sense, but don’t overthink it.]

Possibly it was simply such a big group of bikeless pals who stole a complete semi truck stuffed with bikes:

I’d by no means even heard of Ari Bikes earlier than, however it seems like they make just about each sort of bike you’ll be able to presumably consider:

I completely learn “Timp Peak” as “Pimp Steak.”

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