Method again within the twentieth century, in between actual jobs*, I labored for a time as a bicycle messenger. Even in pre-9/11 New York Metropolis, you may not simply saunter into an enormous workplace constructing; as an alternative you’d be directed deep into its bowels, the place you’d have to search out the messenger heart and anticipate a freight elevator and waste like half your day. So how in 2025 is it doable for somebody to simply stroll into one and begin taking pictures?
*[I realize some people may be offended by my suggestion that being a bike messenger is not a “real job,” but come on, it’s basically just riding your bike all day, let’s get real.]
Nicely, for one factor he wasn’t dressed like a motorcycle messenger, as a result of if he had been he’d by no means have gotten in. (I used to often flirt with the concept of sporting a go well with after I labored as a motorcycle messenger since I’d in all probability have been capable of go straight to reception.) Nonetheless, in all of the evaluation, I didn’t see something about how simple it nonetheless is to drive proper into Manhattan from Queens or Jersey or Las Vegas or wherever and simply double-park your automotive:

Clearly we are able to simply forestall this sooner or later by merely immobilizing and detaining all double-parking assholes in BMWs. (Although I understand after we’re speaking about BMWs each the double-parking and the assholery are a given.) Invariably when one thing like this occurs individuals begin saying we must always ban weapons, however that’s by no means going to occur, as a result of too many individuals are towards it. Nevertheless, cracking down on BMW drivers is one thing each American can get behind, from the simpering soy-eaters who must take psychological well being go away after elections to the coal-rollers who should make use of truck nuts as a result of they lack their very own.
Now, clearly I’m not being fully severe right here (if I had been I’d even have included Mercedes and Land Rover drivers), but when you consider what you will get away with in a automotive it’s fairly unsettling. For instance, yesterday it was like eleventy billion American Freedom Levels™, and my youthful son is not in camp, and so I made a decision, “Fuck it, we’re driving to the seaside.” Smuggies will cringe at my frivolous use of a automotive (or at any use of a automotive), nevertheless it was a type of wonderful seaside days the place the ocean is calm and you may simply wade in and float round for 2 hours, and I remorse nothing. NOTHING.
Nevertheless, being a bicyclist I naturally regard the encompassing visitors with a vital eye, and it’s nonetheless shocking how many individuals are driving round with deliberately crumpled or mutilated or obscured plates, or bullshit momentary ones made out of paper, or in dilapidated automobiles with plates from distant states that may not have probably made the drive from these states with out falling aside. If a man in a BMW (all the time a BMW) can drive proper previous each me and the state police on a tolled bridge in a automotive with a Pennsylvania plate and a white sticker masking half the digits with out getting pulled over, then what protection do we have now towards would-be mass shooters driving round with rifles within the trunk?
Although after all in an effort to actually deal with this I may need to sacrifice the identical freedom and comfort that permits me to so simply determine, “Fuck it, I’m driving to the seaside.” Additionally, if we’re going to immobilize and detain BMW drivers within the identify of stopping shootings, I suppose we’d should do the identical factor to individuals on bicycles:

I also needs to word that I did observe two notable examples of police exercise throughout my appreciable time on the roads. The primary was when a state trooper pulled over the motive force of an Infiniti SUV, presumably for driving within the emergency lane to skirt visitors. (This was profoundly satisfying as the motive force had simply minimize me off, in all probability as a result of they’d seen the trooper up forward and had been attempting to mix again into visitors.) The second was when, on the very finish of our journey, on the Main Deegan Expressway, visitors all of a sudden got here to a cease, a helicopter appeared overhead, and at the very least two NYPD detectives (their vests stated “DET” on them) ran proper previous us on the roadway. They had been match and quick and appeared like TV cops, and I’m 75% positive one among them was Maddie Bosch:

Sadly I don’t suppose they caught whoever they had been chasing as a couple of minutes later they walked previous the automotive trying dejected, like baserunners returning to the dugout after the third out, however fortunately the visitors began transferring once more and we lastly made it house.
Talking of weapons, right here’s Pogačar’s bike:

Look, can we admit that is only a Y-Foil already?
In a nutshell, Colnago didn’t simply shrink/flatten tubes; it re‑imagined the rear triangle. The wild “Defy” seat cluster successfully decouples the seatpost from the principle construction, creating room for engineered flex and rider consolation whereas shielding the rear wheel in cleaner airflow. The format additionally helps vertical compliance with out dulling energy switch.
“…successfully decouples the seatpost from the principle construction, creating room for engineered flex and rider consolation”? I imply COME ON:

Trek’s huge mistake was not additionally “shielding the rear wheel in cleaner airflow” by utilizing some form of vestigial seat tube like Colnago did:

Anyway, I preserve bikes just like the Colnago Y1Rs are a superb factor, since if professional bikes are allowed to get an increasing number of excessive then maybe race bike design will “decouple” from common bike design, as an alternative of the latter following the previous.
However in all probability not.
Additionally, how are we alleged to consider no one’s motor-doping when there’s stuff like this?

If it may well “catapult an averagely match rider” into professional rider territory, than what can it do for the professionals?
This opens up new potentialities: totally built-in e-road bikes with mid-drive motors tipping the scales under 10 kg – one thing beforehand thought-about near-impossible. And whereas the motor maxes out at a modest 200 watts on paper, that’s sufficient to catapult an averagely match rider into power-to-weight zones usually reserved for the professionals. The motor is barely larger than a clenched fist and, in keeping with TQ, boasts the best torque density available on the market. The compact, spherical form permits for a clear integration into the underside bracket space. Like a stem clamped to a steerer, the motor is fastened to the body with two mounting bridges, which simplifies removing and any upkeep work.
You possibly can’t even inform a daily Fred from a Moto-Fred anymore!

I do know I simply stated high-tech professional bikes is an effective factor, however perhaps the actual reply is to stoke a lot worry of moto-doping that the UCI is pressured to require everybody to experience bikes with skinny metal tubes:

[Via Classic Cycle]
Strive concealing a motor in that.
By the best way, what’s with Fonzie on the pinnacle tube?

[Via Classic Cycle]
They should have actually preferred “Blissful Days.”