The world is quickly changing into one which I now not acknowledge.
Even the summer time bugs are totally different:
Whereas it might appear to be the gravel model of a ladybug, that’s a noticed lanternfly within the “nymph late stage,” based on this chart:
In biking life cycle phases, that corresponds to:
“Nymph early stage” — Fixie, sneakers
“Nymph late stage” — PNS jersey and a brand new Canyon
“Grownup in flight” — Gravel bike, Unbound XL try
“Grownup at relaxation” — Rivendell, sneakers
Let’s see if the AI can pull that one off:
Nope, not what I used to be going for in any respect, not even shut. Additionally, that is speculated to be Grandpa passing down his knowledge?!? No sagely bike owner would ever put his leg by his bike like that:
He’s going to wind up with a chainring tattoo that will embarrass even an early stage nymph.
I do like that the grandson has unfurled some form of prayer rug to prostrate himself earlier than his elder as a gesture of respect, although, as a result of frankly the biking world may use rather less inclusivity and somewhat extra genuflecting.
Anyway, I point out the lanternfly as a result of it makes me really feel previous. To me they’re bizarre and alien, however for youths rising up at present they simply imply the canine days of summer time are coming, which is what the chattering of the cicadas all the time communicated to me. And you understand what else makes me really feel previous? Video recording glasses:
Sure, apparently you possibly can maintain a digital camera in your hand, however you possibly can’t use glasses that document video:
“However what I wrestle to know is why Within the Tour de France are you able to fairly actually vlog with a digital camera in your hand which is completely authorized…however as a result of the digital camera is within the glasses you get an computerized Disqualification?!” Smith wrote.
“Sure, if I knew concerning the rule, I might have additionally by no means posted it on social media. In any case, I’ll take it on the chin.
This is smart, as a result of the entire thought is to make the racing as harmful as attainable. See, you possibly can’t put on sensible glasses, however you possibly can maintain a digital camera in your hand, or else pack a automobile stuffed with journalists and drive it proper into the gang:
Okay, so it’s *checks horny fireman wall calendar* 2026. We’ve bought sensible glasses, drones, and satellites so highly effective we are able to rely folks’s arm hair from area. So why do we’d like journalists following the bike race in vehicles once more?
The driving force of the automobile, containing journalists from the French newspaper L’Equipe, reportedly fainted on the wheel lower than 500 metres from the end line in Ussel, the native authority informed Agence France-Presse.
L’Equipe reported yesterday that eight spectators behind the obstacles have been injured within the incident, with two followers taken to hospital. One among them is reported to be critically injured, although their situation shouldn’t be described as life-threatening.
In actual fact, why do we’ve journalists in any respect? I’m actually no journalist myself, however as a former semi-professional bike blogger I’ve flirted with it right here and there, and I can inform you from expertise that is a complete occupation based mostly solely on getting invited to stuff. In at present’s media panorama a automobile stuffed with journalists driving in the course of the Tour de France advantages completely no person besides the journalists themselves who get to put on passes round their necks and brag about how they bought to drive in the course of the Tour de France.
Then once more it’s essential to remember I’m simply an previous crackpot who’s nonetheless driving round on previous rim brake bikes with dangerously skinny tires:
Why do I persist on this habits? Even I acknowledge wider tires are higher–and but I nonetheless benefit from the skinny ones, as a result of they’re clean and exhilarating, simply so long as you utilize them on precisely the appropriate floor and pay a number of consideration. On this sense they’re like ice skates, and no person tells ice skaters what they’re doing is silly and that they need to use operating snowshoes as a substitute, do they?
[Snowshoe running is to ice skating what gravel cycling is to road cycling. Also, where’s his helment?]
Skinny-tired bikes are additionally good for summer time, as a result of when it’s sizzling, the woods are teeming with bugs, and also you don’t have numerous time, placing on a number of articles of stretchy garments and doing a fast street experience on a pared-down bicycle with sizzling dog-width tires nearly is smart. In actual fact, neglect the entire ice skating factor, as a result of driving a street bike with skinny tires is extra like sporting a thong: you’re feeling bare and unfettered and it’s liberating, but everybody round you is disgusted.
The above was very true with the Plimpton bike, which really appears to be like like a G-string, and which I rode extra final summer time than I care to confess:
Talking of which…Trek had a Y Bikes week and so they didn’t inform me?!?
Why, I’m the one particular person on the planet to say something even remotely constructive concerning the Y-Foil within the final 28 years!
You’re welcome, Trek. You’re welcome.
